The promises we make to ourselves about being ‘better’ have nothing to do with being a better person or living a better life. “It’s taught me that most of what we try so hard to accomplish in life is absolute B.S. “You know what this disease has taught me, Kathleen?” he said. “What am I going to promise to give up that I haven’t already lost?” he said.īut then he got serious again. Then I asked him about New Years again, and he surprised me by laughing out loud. I gave my kids a lifetime of happy memories, and I know they’ll want to preserve them by remembering the holidays as a happy time.” “All the presents under the tree, and how excited they would be that Santa came! Now I look at those years of playing Santa as my legacy, in a way. “I remember Christmas when they were little kids,” he said. But they had talked a lot about carrying on traditions, and David felt confident that the joy of the season would be something they would have forever, even after he was gone. They knew their dad was dying, and they were all terribly sad. But he knew that they would be OK without him, and that knowledge made it easier for him. Did he feel sad that this was in all likelihood his last Christmas? And how did he feel about New Year’s? Could he see himself making “resolutions” this year, and what would they be?ĭavid answered that, of course, he was sad that this would likely be the last time he spent the holidays with his family. When I spoke to David shortly before Christmas, I asked him how the holidays had changed for him now that he knew his life was coming to an end. And in his own words, he is “ready to go.” He is at peace with his decision to stop all curative treatments. He has lived with his disease for nearly 20 years - long enough to know that he is now “officially done.” He wants no more hormones no more chemotherapy no more radiation treatments no more experimental therapies. Because there’s always time, or so we believe.īut what is New Year’s Day like when you’re terminally ill, when the promise of another year is unlikely to be fulfilled?ĭavid is a 70-year-old man with terminal prostate cancer. The promises fade, and we fall back into our comfortable habits and routines. And very often we’re quite committed to accomplishing these things when we are looking ahead at 365 bright new days.īut then, of course, life gets in the way. We make to-do lists of tasks and behaviors that we think will help us reach our goals: join a gym go on a diet lose 10 pounds give up smoking apply for grad school quit a dead end job write a book have a child. For some of us, this involves New Year’s resolutions - promises to ourselves about living better, happier, more fulfilling lives - that we almost never keep. Today is New Year’s Day, the day when many of us take stock of our lives and make plans for the year to come.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |